History Lessons
by Amber Mushi
Summary: A little extra info on your favorite characters. Includes spoilers.
1. Raine Sage

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia or anything else that may appear in this story.

Raine Sage

Here's a little history lesson for you all.

Raine Sage was born in Tethe'alla. Or so you think. She was actually born on Katz Island to Virginia & Kloitz(the Katz). By the time she was 7, Raine knew everything that happened in the history of Katz Island, & how to solve complicated math equations so hard that they would make Regal cry.

At age 8, her parents died & Raine knew why. They had been murdered. So, she studied harder than ever to increase her knowledge & later find her parents' murderer.

By age 12, she knew every element of the earth, could cast First Aid, & had a vocabulary of 1,000,000,000,000 words. Needless to say, she was a child prodigy.

Then, at age 13, she discovered something a child's parents never want them to find out about. Sex. Since Raine had no parents, she found out anyways & lost her virginity at age 13 to a Katz.

Slowly, she became obsessed with anything sexual. She tried finding new ways to pleasure herself and found archaeology. She became obsessed with ruins and how they made her feel. So, she set off to find the world's greatest ruin. At age 16 her breast size was 36DD. She actually had to go to a doctor to get them decreased because she was tired of people always grabbing them.

To fund her travels, starting from age 18, she became a stripper at the local club, & then moved to prostitution. Then she met Lloyd Irving. Knowing that someday, he would go on a great journey with many ruins, she stayed in Iselia until she became what we know her as now.

Hope you all learned something. Of course that's not her complete history. There's more.


	2. Genis Sage

Genis Sage

Here's the 2nd history lesson for you all.

Genis, Genis, Genis, where do I begin. First of all, he's Raine's sister. Or so you think. A few years after Raine was born, her family went to vacation in Altamira. While there, Raine's father, Kloitz the Katz hooked up with a bunny girl & got her pregnant. Raine & Virginia of course never knew about this. After Genis was born, Kloitz hypnotized Raine & Virginia into believing that Genis was their fully-related son/brother.

Genis was also a child prodigy like Raine. The only problem was that he had an annoying voice. After hearing his voice, his kindergarten teacher committed suicide. However, unlike Raine, he never knew the fate of his parents. He also didn't know about Raine's obsession with ruins…until that one day. At age 10, he was traveling to Iselia with his sister. While on the way, they stopped at a ruin. Raine told him to wait & go inside. Genis, a curious kid, naturally went inside. What he saw inside scarred him for life. This is why he never reached puberty. And never will.

After meeting Lloyd Irving & Colette Brunel, he started hanging out with them. His brainpower/IQ dropped by 1,000,000 points after being friends with Lloyd & Colette. On the journey of regeneration, Genis met Presea. We will never know what thoughts went through his head when he first saw her, but from carefully observed scriptures, we are guessing that he was horny. Despite never having reached puberty, his immense magical strength allowed a little bit of testosterone to leak into his system, causing horniness.

Couple of months later, Genis realized that Presea didn't know that he liked her, so he, being the coward he is, did nothing. After the journey, Genis got separated from the rest of the group. We still don't know where he is.

Random Fact: Genis once saw Regal doing 'stuff' to Presea with his feet.


	3. Presea Combatir

Presea Combatir

Here's the 3rd history lesson for you all.

Presea was born in Ozette to a lumberjack. Or so you think. She was actually born in the Remote Island Ranch to Rodyle & a mermaid. How else would she have pink natural hair? After Rodyle turned gay, he killed his wife and abandoned Presea in front of a house in Ozette. She was found by a man named Ralph. Ralph adopted her but didn't tell Presea because he was afraid of who the father was.

Years later, Presea got kidnapped by the Pope & used in an experiment. The Pope's daughter, Kate, performed the experiment. By changing Presea's underwear, they found out that they could control her behavior & stop her "time". So, Presea remained 12 on the outside. She was literally crazy, massacring anyone who tried to touch her cute pink hair. During the experiment, Kate forced Presea to take steroids. While steroids have unusual effects on women, because Presea's time had stopped, they had no unusual effects on her. Except for that fact that she grew freakishly strong.

Presea learned to wield an ax. Then she learned from Rodyle's former sex slaves that he was her father. Her role in life was decided. And that was to cut off Rodyle's genitals and make him suffer. On the way to finding Rodyle, she came across Lloyd's group. She then saw the love of her life…Colette Brunel. She tried a number of times to hint that she felt something to her, but Colette was just too obsessed with Lloyd.

Then she met another love of her life…Kratos Aurion. That's right. Presea is bisexual. When Kratos asked her about the location of the Sacred Wood, she was more than happy to tell him even though it might have ended in the destruction of the world in hopes of getting _his_ sacred wood. But, she will never get to spend time with Colette & Kratos, because she only has losers like Genis & Regal after her. She then came up with a plan. Since Colette & Kratos wouldn't come to her, she would have to come to them…by rape. We will never know if she put this plan into action or what thoughts went through her head every time she thought of committing this terrible plan.


	4. Kratos Aurion

Kratos Aurion

Here's the 4th history lesson for you all.

Nobody knows where the hell Kratos actually was born. Although we do know that he had a brother. His name was Zeus. Zeus liked to stuff various objects down Kratos's pants, including spaghetti, tomatoes, & ketchup. Due to this, Kratos gained a fear of tomatoes & anything-related to the red vegetable/fruit. (Nobody still knows what it is.)

A lot of stuff about Kratos is unknown. Even though he has been living for over 4000 years, his various crimes and heroic actions were failed to be recorded. What we do know is that Kratos was in a similar experiment to Presea. By changing his underwear daily, he did not age on the outside. However, although he has lived over 4000 years, but has only hooked up with 2 people. One of them was the local butcher's daughter, who he met and seduced with raw meat. Another was a filthy half-dwarf named Anna. In a rare interview, Kratos admitted he never would have hooked up with Anna in the first place if he wasn't drunk on Welagian liquor.

The story goes that Yuan got him drunk & tried to set him up with some hot chick, but somehow things got mixed up. Misinterpretations were all over the place and Yuan ended up scoring with the previously mentioned hot chick. Things were not so lucky for Kratos. While he was waiting, Anna came instead… and Kratos & Anna did it. Kratos later found out that he had impregnated Anna. Before, he was an alcoholic & was addicted to methamphetamine for 289 years. After he got out of rehab, he figured he had to take some responsibility, so he helped Anna right after she gave birth to his son. Kratos called his son "the worst mistake of his life."

Later, they were chased for years by a ringleader for a gay "circus" named Kvar. Kvar wanted to rape Kratos so bad, but when he mistook Anna for Kratos (they looked very alike), he raped her instead. After finding out, Kvar killed Anna & went after Kratos again. Kvar later got 2 swords impaled in his crotch & died.

So, after the journey of regeneration was over, Kratos went back to Derris-Kharlan with an endless supply of booze & meth. He spent the rest of his life still not getting over Anna's death & hooking up with random people.


	5. Sheena Fujibayashi

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Sheena Fujibayashi

Here's the 5th history lesson for you all.

Sheena's boobs are real. Or so you think. Sheena was born in Flanoir when Abyssion raped that girl who never leaves the inn. Why do you think she never leaves? She's traumatized after that night in the snow. When Sheena was born, she was named Vagbooty Forthewin. Can you imagine someone calling you that? Naturally she later changed her name, as she entered the village of Mizuho.

She was abandoned in the front of the Temple of Earth where she was found by the Chief of Mizuho who happened to be making his way to Meltokio to get some action. She was taken in by the village & raised to be a waitress. Tiga told her, "To become a waitress, you must have breasts that jiggle." However, Sheena's boobs were so jiggly that they frequently caused the male customers to collapse. This later caused all restaurants in Mizuho to be shut down. All Mizuho residents are now forced to catch their own food.

One day, in an effort to stop the jiggling of her boobs, Sheena visited the Temple of Lighting. When Volt appeared, Sheena was troubled and didn't know what to do. Sensing weakness, Volt got very excited. Sheena's boobs accidentally popped out of her shirt when she was shaking in fear. This casued Volt to have a massive orgasm which resulting in the death of half of the village, including the parents of her best friend, Kuchinawa. To get revenge on her for making Volt kill his parents, Kuchinawa tried setting Sheena up with a boob job. When later interviewed, Kuchinawa explained that the purpose of the boob job was to cause Sheena's breasts to get so big, that she would have trouble moving and be forced to a life of paralysis…and for his own pleasure. The plan failed.

Her boobs have gotten her far. Sheena's boobs became so big, that she became able to use the summoning arts. Summon spirits were mesmerized by the jiggling and agreed to obey her every command. She was chosen to assassinate the Chosen of Sylvarant because of her great boobs. When she did get to Sylvarant, she ended up joining Lloyd & Co. for some odd reason.

Countless historians have argued for Sheena's romantic preferences. Several sources indicate that she was romantically linked with Zelos, while other documents infer that she harbored feelings for Lloyd. Historians have searched for the answer to this question for years: Who does Sheena belong with? Zelos or Lloyd?

The answer is Raine. Sheena became a lesbian at age 16 when introduced to one of Tiga's friends with even bigger boobs than hers.


	6. Zelos Wilder

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Zelos Wilder

Here's the 6th history lesson for you all

When Zelos was 8, he was out playing in the snow with his momma. Next thing he knew, he saw red. And his mother was saying, "You should never have been born…because I used birth control. I don't know how the hell you managed to slip through. Must be some kinda sign. I remember that one time…etc." And then she died.

Zelos was born to a rich noble & a poor peasant girl. He is quite literally a bastard as he was born when the noble raped the peasant. After finding out he was a bastard at age 16 when his mother died, he made it his commitment to follow in his father's footsteps and rape as many people as he could to spread bastard children all over the earth.

His various sexual crimes and accomplishments are recorded and stored in the archive at the castle. At age 5, he had his first kiss. Age 12, he got to 3rd base with Princess Hilda. At age 13, he lost his virginity. And on and on and on…

Although Zelos was not of any elven ancestry, he was able to use magic. We have uncovered the story. When he was 18, he had the biggest disease of his life. His butler, Sebastian, accidentally gave him Viagra mistaking it for Tylenol. This however, was a special type of Viagra and allowed Zelos to use magic. Unfortunately, it came with the side effects of mass horniness, nausea, diarrhea, headaches, vomiting, & risk of prostate cancer.

He is also famous for the book titled _The Pimp Plan. _In it, he explains how he does everything that he does. It is now available at your local bookstore for $70…plus tax.

During his teenage years, Zelos was an underground drug lord specializing in cocaine. After he experienced cocaine, he gained an unhealthy obsession for boobs on skateboards. He has encountered every type of STD imaginable, has had plastic surgery 2 times, and has been sued more times than you can dream of. His hair is naturally purple. One day, Zelos decided that his life sucked and went to go kill himself. Then, he saw something.

Guess what it was. That's right, it was boobs of Sheena. After seeing those boobs, Zelos knew he had to touch them sooner or later…and he did. We have no further information on what became of him after that. He had 41 children that he didn't know about & 3 he did know about.


	7. Colette Brunel

**Disclaimer: I own nothing no matter how much I wish I did.**

Lesson #7 – Colette Brunel

Here's the 7th history lesson for y'all.

Colette Brunel, contrary to popular belief, was not born with her Cruxis Crystal in her hand. She was not born in Iselia either. And Frank's not even her real father. It's not Remiel either…it's Abyssion.

Abyssion, while on his search for the Devils' Arms, was injured badly one night. Checking into a House of Salvation, he met Phaidra a.k.a. Colette's "grandmother." Phaidra is actually Colette's biological mother. Frank was a hobo gangster she and Abyssion found on the streets of Palmacosta. They took him in to give him a better life…and the orgies.

When Colette was born, she had a 9-inch dildo in her hands. Her parents took this as a sign that their daughter was going to grow up to be the local slut. Afraid of this fate, they immediately found a dwarf to carve them a jewel and claimed it to be the Cruxis Crystal associated with the Chosen.

Therefore, Colette was raised as a Chosen, trained with the abilities needed to undergo the angel transformation and the journey of regeneration. She was also injected with a fluid which postponed the growth of her breasts.

However, Colette's parents' efforts proved futile. Colette grew up to be a naughty girl, humping everything in sight at only the age of 8. When she turned 13, she had used everything around her as a sex toy at least once, including her chakrams and various foods.

Eventually growing bored of everything, Colette started experimenting with animals. She quickly found dogs to be her favorite as their tongues were extremely quick. She now has a lifetime supply of peanut butter to use with dogs.

Colette also disguised her sexual desires with klutziness and constant apologies. Many men have reported to her "accidentally tripping onto their reproductive organs."


	8. Lloyd Irving

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia or any other related thingies.**

Lloyd Irving

Here's the 8th history lesson for y'all.

Lolol Lloyd is dum.

Seriously…he is.


	9. Regal Bryant

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: I apologize for that last chapter if it somehow angered/annoyed/bothered anyone in any way.  
**

**This chapter is the longest one yet.**

Regal Bryant

Here's the 9th history lesson for y'all.

Regal Bryant was born in Derris-Kharlan to Zelos' groupie 1 and the Great Kharlan Tree. If you're wondering how a tree can produce a human offspring, just don't think about it as the process involves many chemical formulas and explanations so illogical that they make Regal cry whenever he is questioned about his parentage.

Growing up, Regal had two fascinations: food and feet. His goal in life was decided early in life when he decided to search for a way to combine his two greatest passions.

In order to achieve this goal, Regal found it necessary to start a multi-million dollar corporation called the Lezareno Company specializing in revealing the illicit activities of public figures to the general public. They also did porn…involving food.

However, as Regal worked, he grew awfully lonely. He soon demanded a slave girl to be ready to pleasure him at any time necessary. His workers found Alicia Combatir, a young girl often referred to as 'Jailbait' by her friends for unknown reasons.

Tragedy soon struck. Angered by the inferior quality of his evening footjob, he decided to take matters into his own hands and sexually assaulted Alicia.

Three hours later, he would find himself in bed, next to a dead Alicia and an orange in his hand. Horrified at what he had just done, he then took two vows.

1. He must never again make anything with oranges ever again.

2. He must never sexually assault anybody in any shape or form with his hands ever again. Only with his feet.

To make sure he kept his vows, Regal ordered his servant George, to destroy all things orange-related in any way in all of Altamira. And he 'confessed' his sin to the Pope and King of Tethe'alla, making up some baloney about how Alicia turned into a monster from an Exsphere without a Key Crest which highly knowledgeable scientists knew to be impossible.

However, his lie was believed and he was put in shackles. Regal spent the next few years in prison perfecting his skills with his feet.

When the Chosen of Sylvarant arrived in Tethe'alla, Regal was given the task of putting his skills with his feet to the test by the Pope. He was given three conditions to follow.

1. The Chosen must not be touched with any hands.

2. The Chosen must not complain of the act 'taking too long'.

3. The Chosen must be pleasured.

Regal accepted these conditions and set out to meet the chosen. When he arrived, however, he thought he recognized a familiar figure. He saw Presea Combatir, the older-yet-totally-looking-like-she-was-the-younger sister of Alicia. He quickly became distracted and failed his task of doing inappropriate things to the Chosen of Sylvarant.

When Regal returned to the Pope, he was condemned to execution for his failure. He made a run for it, and eventually ended up joining Lloyd Irving's group, where it was reported that he, indeed "put his skills to the test" by various members of the group, both male and female.

Today, Regal remains a high-profile corporate executive of one of the wealthiest companies in the world with several chains. He is rumored to start shooting his highly anticipated adult film, "Phunking With Feet #14" next month.

**A/N: I'm finished writing chapters for the nine major characters in the game so now I'll take suggestions on characters to write about if anybody wants this fic to continue.**


	10. Yuan

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Yuan

Lesson #10, let's do this.

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

A local prostitute who had just been raped by Chuck the Dwarf (the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather of Dirk) on the planet known now as Uranus was on the verge of death. A mysteriously hooded stranger approached her drunk on Welgaian liquor (the strongest type of alcohol known to man...and aliens).

He told the woman that Chuck's sperm was corrupting her body and slowly ending her life. To counter this, the stranger gave the woman a chance to perform a ritual involving sexual intercourse and ketchup with him. The stranger then removed his hood and the woman saw the face…of a horse. Then they made love all night long.

The horse-man's sperm kicked out Chuck's sperm, purified the woman's body and nine months later, Yuan was born.

When Yuan was born, he had a cape on. After examining the fabric, his mother found out that the cape was part of his body and could not be removed. It was the same type of clothing his father had on, except his father also had a hood.

After reaching puberty, Yuan's body grew out of proportion thanks to his half-horse genes. A certain body part (I think you all know what part) grew too large and Yuan was consumed by a sexual drive that could not be satisfied. He went around town in frenzy doing inappropriate things with the women.

The townspeople dealt with this problem by using Yuan and his massive wang as a lightning rod as their town often suffered from lightning storms.

One day, Yuan was stuck by lightning…twice…on the biggest part of his body.

His sexual drive was no longer there, his body returned to normal, but his once-massive organ shrunk to almost nothing.

To make up for this, Yuan studied lightning magic hoping to one day restore his former glory. While studying, he met up with Mithos Yggdrasil and joined his 3-person sex troupe consisting of Mithos, his sister Martel, and Kratos Aurion.

He soon fell in love with Martel, was about to get married when Martel cheated on him with Kratos. To get back at him, Yuan 'accidentally' hooked up Kratos with the ugly half-ape girl, Anna a.k.a. Lloyd's mother.

After Martel's betrayal, Yuan started an undercover criminal gang that specialized in kidnapping small children called the Renegades. He recruited a local poker dealer who went by the name of Botta and they switched off being on top.

Currently, Yuan still operates his criminal gang and is getting rich off kidnapping little children and stealing their candy.

**A/N: I'll be doing Neil next. Feel free to suggest more characters if you want to see more. **


	11. Neil

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Neil

Here's the 11th history lesson for y'all.

Assistant Governor-General Neil of Palmacosta was not always the timid Assistant Governor-General you thought you knew. Neil was originally born in Meltokio to a family of nobles.

As it turned out, Neil was a genius, even smarter than Raine. He had perfect scores throughout his schooling and became a doctor at the age of 17 (21 now). He had everything: power, money, fame, and women. Neil had so many women around that he woke up everyday and made love to four different women….at once. He never did the same woman twice.

After he had had sexual relations with every woman over 18 in Tethe'alla, Doctor Neil began hungering for something more. He had grown tired of beautiful women and their gigantic breasts and perfect legs. He felt something was missing.

He soon abandoned his medical duties and began concentrating on a new study. Neil had discovered what the craving in him was: adolescent girls.

Neil started a research group dedicated to finding out a way to keep girls young forever so that they would never grow up to be 'hot' but forever stay 'cute'. He was funded by the Pope of Tethe'alla, a corrupt, sick, twisted man. His discoveries later affected Presea Combatir, who was experimented on according to his notes.

One day, in the middle of his field research, Neil spied a young girl eating cookie dough flavored ice cream on a sunny day.

The combination of the girl, the heat, the ice cream, and a nearby balloon shaped like a giraffe caused Neil to temporarily lose his senses. He attacked the young girl, attempting to rape her in public.

Before he did anything too serious (as if attacking a child wasn't serious enough), Neil was beaten the crap out of by a passing mercenary by the name of Kratos Aurion, who later saved the girl.

The young girl grew up to be a serial killer who targeted young men in white lab coats. She was captured and executed after her 38th attempt the life of the doctor of Sybak.

Neil, on the other hand, was put on trial by the Meltokio royal court. He was found guilty of illegal research, assault, and theft of giraffe-shaped balloons. The Pope, afraid of being found out of funding Neil's research kept silent and refused to help Neil.

The court unanimously voted that he was to be banished to Sylvarant forever and all the giraffe-shaped balloons were to be popped in front of Neil's face.

Once in Sylvarant, Neil found his way towards the poor city of Palmacosta. He was taken in by the Governor-General, Dorr. Neil decided immediately that he would work for this fool for his own benefits. Also, Dorr had a young daughter, who Neil plotted to get his hands on.

Within three months of his arrival, Neil transformed the city of Palmacosta to a flourishing port town. He secretly continued his research there while at the same time thinking of ways to usurp control from Dorr.

Just as Neil was about to commence his coup, Dorr was killed in an incident regarding the nearby Desian human ranch. He took control and ordered that all girls under the age of 16 be put in to a center where he was to monitor them at all times.

As soon as his center was constructed, the Giant Kharlan Tree went berserk, destroying the city of Palmacosta, killing nearly the whole town.

Contrary to popular belief, Neil did not perish with the other citizens of Palmacosta. He escaped into Iselia where he moved in with Phaidra, Colette Brunel's grandmother.

He now focuses on 'research' involving old women. His research on young girls was never completed.

**A/N: Neil's my homie.**


	12. Forcystus

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Forcystus

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Here's the 12th history lesson for y'all.

Forcystus was not born anywhere. He was created by Mithos 3,974 years after his journey just like all the other Desian Grand Cardinals.

All of the Desian Grand Cardinals were created by Mithos by throwing five elements into a pot and stewing them at the temperature of 700 degrees. In Forcystus' case, he was created using vanilla ice cream, a frog's right leg baked at twilight, seaweed, a single hair of Yuan, and Kratos' toenail.

Forcystus was the second of Mithos' Desians created. When Mithos was about to decide the element that Forcystus would specialize in, a strong wind lifted nine girls' skirts allowing Mithos to see their underwear.

Inspired by this event, Mithos created Forcystus to be a master in the wind element, in hopes that he could create a wind so strong that girls would stop wearing anything, growing sick of the wind ripping their clothes off.

However, while creating Forcystus, Martel spilled hot coffee on his arm. This coffee was so hot and damaging that Mithos lost use of his left arm for three weeks. Unfortunately, he just happened to be working on forming Forcystus' left arm at that time. Mithos grew agitated at the time it was taking for him to unleash his plan to destroy all women's clothing. Growing impatient, he stuck a laser cannon that happened to be lying around under his bed in place of Forcystus' left arm. He modified it later to allow Forcystus to shoot out eggs.

Martel also threw curry into Mithos' eye, temporarily blinding him in one eye for a week. Infuriated at this accident, Mithos took it out on Forcystus by giving him only one eye.

After finally completing Forcystus, Mithos ordered him to create the strong wind he had been waiting for. Forcystus refused, stating that he did not like to see women wearing nothing.

He blinded Mithos by firing eggs into both of his eyes and ran away to a desert, now known as Triet. For a short time, he operated a restaurant specializing in eggs of all kind, easily cooked by the desert's high temperature.

He hooked up with a girl from the town of Triet, who was later turned into a sand worm by Mithos and cursed to roam the desert forever with an evil sword in her body.

After Mithos had finally caught him, he took Forcystus back to a cave, spanked him, took away his egg firing power, and set him to work in a human ranch. While working at the ranch, Forcystus developed a strange, almost unhealthy obsession for chickens for unknown reasons. He had his own room in the ranch, called the chicken room where he entered every morning to do who-knows-what.


	13. Lloyd, Pt 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

Last chapter. I am sad.

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Lloyd Irving – Pt. 2

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After few months of grueling work, our top ranked historians have uncovered more information regarding everyone's favorite dumb hero, Lloyd Irving. So without futher ado, here's the 13th history lesson for y'all.

Lloyd Irving is a dragon! He's also a pirate. And an angel. Be amazed!

Before his teenage years, Lloyd Irving was thrown off a cliff by Dirk, his foster father, after Lloyd had found Dirk's copies of highly illegal Dwarven child pornographic magazines. In panic and fear that the Dwarven cops might be after him, Dirk quickly took Lloyd into the woods and threw him off a cliff in an attempt to try and remove his memories. Unfortunately for Dirk, the Dwarven police arrived on the scene, able to witness the tossing of the child. Dirk was sent to prison on charges of child abuse and possession of child pornography. In prison, he lost his manhood.

After his foster father was sent to prison, Lloyd lived with his dog, Noishe. One day, Noishe was chasing after monsters in the forest when he brought home a pornographic magazine. Noishe was later sent to the dog pound for stealing the Mayor of Iselia's magazines. After Lloyd had read the magazine, he became obsessed with the female body. As he went through puberty, Lloyd attempted to rape every female in the village. However, he was usually knocked out before any clothes except his were removed because of his almost nonexistent strength.

One day, his hot teacher, Raine Sage, noticing that he was a very horny teenager, approached him with the offer of intercourse one day after school. Lloyd eagerly accepted, but was kicked out of the classroom five minutes later by a furious Raine after he had tried to stick it in her ear.

Wandering the city, Lloyd found another opportunity. After enrolling in a university by mistake, Lloyd ended up getting a degree in psychiatry…also by mistake. Because he had nothing better to do, he opened his own clinic. Unfortunately, the people who went in came out ten times worse, and he was quickly shut down and sent to jail for fraud.

After being released from prison, Lloyd turned his interests to arson and started burning down houses and public buildings at a rapid rate. However, he was easily caught because he was found yelling "Burn to oblivion!" every time, giving away his identity and position very easily. He was soon caught and thrown back into prison again.

In jail, he developed an interest in cross-dressing and fanfiction. Neither topics were well-received by his cellmates and he was often beaten and touched in the bathrooms. Following his release, Lloyd worked many different jobs ranging from opera singer to Rheaird manufacturer. Needless to say, he was fired from every job almost instantaneously.

He now works as a full-time historian, gathering 100 percent correct information about famous figures that is totally not made up in any way.

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This IS the last chapter. I've had a great time writing this fic, but lately I've been out of it with school and all and can not bring myself to write anymore. Sorry if any of you wanted a specific character done. Thanks to everyone who read, and special thanks to everyone who reviewed.

In other news, Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World a.k.a. TOS2 will be out in a couple of months. Here's to hoping it won't be complete crap!


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